Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

Yesterday, I texted to all of my friends and family, “Happy Veterans Day”. One of them texted me back and stated that he wasn’t a veteran, so my message made no sense. I thought about it, and I texted him back, saying “I’m not a ‘Thanksgiving’ either, but last year you wished me a ‘Happy Thanksgiving’. #moron.” I’m assuming that got him angry, but I can’t say for sure, because I removed him from my contacts, blocked his number, and I anonymously ran an ad on Craigslist on his behalf, requesting a donor for a brain transplant. Loser.

Life through Blake's eyes

• 11/12/2017


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