Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Detroit, Michigan – Police are investigating the apparent electrocution of two people at a Detroit Public Lighting Authority building. A worker reportedly found the bodies just after 6:30 a.m. when he went to the substation to investigate a power outage. The pair are suspected of breaking in the front door of the substation, and they were in the process of stealing copper wiring when they were electrocuted by 24,000 volts. The families of both men have gotten attorneys with plans to file a lawsuit, alleging “wrongful death”. Their attorneys said they plan on suing the descendants of the people who are the most responsible for the advancement of electricity, including Thomas Edison and Benjamin Franklin.

• January 8, 2018


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