Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Houston, Texas – A Dallas woman is challenging allegations that she caused at least $300,000 in damage to a prominent Houston attorney’s art collection — including Andy Warhol paintings — at the end of their first date. Lindy Lou Layman appeared in a Houston courtroom Tuesday after being charged with felony criminal mischief for the Dec. 23 incident in the home of attorney Tony Buzbee. Prosecutors say Buzbee told investigators the 29-year-old Layman became intoxicated and belligerent and that she shattered two $20,000 sculptures and poured wine on paintings, including two Warhol works each valued at $500,000. Her defense attorney Justin Keiter, stated to the judge, “Buzbee should take some responsibility for what happened, because he knows like everyone else, how crazy blondes can get after they get loaded. He should also look up to heaven and thank God Almighty that Layman wasn’t a redhead, because if she was, she would’ve burned his house down, and the cops would be trying to identify his charred remains… that she would’ve gleefully dismembered.”

• January 10, 2018


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or