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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Miami, Florida – Two Miami lawmakers were forced to admit and apologize for their bipartisan extramarital affair after an anonymous website claimed to have evidence of the swing-state senators getting busy behind closed doors. shortly before the start of the session, veteran lawmakers Sens. Oscar Braynon, a Democrat, and Anitere Flores, a Republican, issued a joint statement saying their “longtime friendship evolved to a level that we deeply regret.” In an extremely rare bipartisan letter drafted by both republicans and democrats, they said that they were “disgusted with the affair.” And they jointly went on to say, “We don’t have a problem with simple run-of-the-mill adultery or race mixing. But we will not tolerate sleeping with the enemy in an ‘inter-party relationship’ under any circumstances, and both of these traitors crossed a line!”

• 01/11/2018


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