BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – President Trump revealed the winners of his self-proclaimed ‘Fake News’ awards Wednesday night on Twitter — with The New York Times topping the list. The list, published on GOP.com, noted that “studies have shown that over 90 percent of the media’s coverage of President Trump is negative.” It went on to call 2017 “a year of unrelenting bias, unfair news coverage and even downright fake news.” Coming in first place was The New York Times’ Paul Krugman for his prediction that the stock markets would never recover from Trump’s election. Within an hour of being informed he was the overall winner, Krugman was so distraught, that he went to the Brooklyn Bridge and was threatening to jump. Witnesses stated he was crying uncontrollably, and muttering to himself he could no longer deal with the “relentless teasing from other journalists”. He was finally talked down after a police negotiator convinced him that the stock market was going to crash tomorrow comparable to 1929, and that the republicans have begun impeachment proceedings against President Trump.