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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

My neighbor was telling me how angry he is at security at Walmart. He told me after he got caught teaching his five year old son to shoplift last week, the police humiliated him in front of his child as he was being handcuffed by calling him a “thief”. He said he was disrespected as a parent, because the cops should’ve said he was teaching his child “fundamental gratuitous property acquisitioning”. On one hand, I thought what he was saying was completely ridiculous. But on the other hand, I was really impressed with the way he articulated his very extensive vocabulary.

Life through Blake's eyesWalmart

• 01/20/2018


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