Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Boston, Massachusetts – In announcing the results of a wiretap probe called “Operation High Hopes,” Boston authorities said they seized more than 33 pounds of fentanyl—enough to kill millions of people—in connection with one of Massachusetts’ biggest drug busts ever. Law enforcement concluded that some Philadelphia Eagles fans placed the drugs there to wipe out the entire city, just in case the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl.

• February 12, 2018


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