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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Special Counsel Robert Mueller has announced that a grand jury has indicted 13 Russian nationals and three Russian entities for violating U.S. criminal laws in connection with the campaign to interfere with the 2016 presidential election in support of Donald Trump. “The indictment charges all of the defendants with conspiracy to defraud the United States, three defendants with conspiracy to commit wire fraud and bank fraud, and five defendants with aggravated identity theft,” a statement from the special counsel’s office said. Congresswoman Maxine Waters announced that more indictments will be coming. “According to my sources, two other Russians involved in altering the election that will soon be charged are Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale. As I understand it, both of them are some characters. Also on election night, I was informed that two other people I admit I never met, named Rocky & Bullwinkle that I believe are Trump supporters, were taunting Hillary Clinton. They were constantly calling her in regards to her being up in the polls saying, ‘Watch me pull a rabbit out of a hat’. And she told them ‘but that trick never worked’, and hung up. I am hoping now we can finally get to the truth, instead of some fractured fairytales.”

Donald TrumpFBIHillary ClintonMaxine WatersRobert Mueller

• February 19, 2018


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