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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Pune, India – A 30-year-old woman from Yemen recently had solid food for the first time in her life after a tumor that fused her mouth shut was surgically removed. The woman identified as Fatima lived on a liquid diet for 29 years. She visited various doctors in Yemen but none could figure out her problem. So, she came to India in hope to get a cure. After 4-hour surgery, the tumor was removed which enabled an appropriate movement of her muscles. After 29 years, she was finally able to open her mouth. Her boyfriend who was initially ecstatic about the surgery, dumped her a few days later, and stated. “I’m already sick of her because now she just can’t seem to shut up!”

• 03/27/2018


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