Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – In a major embarrassment for NBC anchor Lester Holt, ABC’s “World News Tonight” soundly defeated Holt’s “Nightly News” in the ratings last week, scoring victories in both the desirable demographic of adults age 25-54 and in total viewers. NBC “Nightly News” has been the perennial ratings champ over the last two decades, but that lead is now gravely endangered following Holt’s disastrous trip to North Korea — where he appeared to have been duped by regime propagandists. He is now saying it was a honest geographical mistake, because he thought he was in South Korea. “The people from both nations look the same to me,” Holt explained. “It would be like me trying to tell if a person is from North or South Dakota. Both citizens smell like cattle or buffalo, so how would I know for sure?”

ABCNBC

• 03/14/2018


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