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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

I have been reading your advice column for years. Do you ever get concerned about giving some advice, that ends up being very destructive? Just curious.

Signed, Anderson

From Westchester, Illinois

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Dear Anderson,

People that follow my advice will experience a drastic change in their life. Whether it’s for the better or worse is a matter of opinion. Many of the people that have followed my advice have wound up in prison. I never give any follow up advice after they contact me from there, because I know it’s just a matter of time before they will request that I put some money on their books. Anytime someone writes me and informs me that my advice has ruined their marriage, I usually point out certain elements in their first letter, telling them that they are so emotionally screwed up, that they don’t deserve anybody. A good percentage of the secondary letters sent to me from troubled souls, are threats to my life for me “ruining” theirs. This is the reason why I have more than 50 fake I.D’s, and I never sleep in the same location more than two days in a row. And in many cases when my advice is followed to the letter, the writer ends up in the hospital. I actually visited one of them a few months ago. He was in a complete body cast, and when I entered his room, he stared at me intensely. He lost the ability to speak, but his offensive hand gesture suggested that he didn’t want me there. I should’ve just left, but I couldn’t resist the temptation to alter his medical chart, telling the doctors that he immediately wanted a sex change. I wonder if some time in the future “she” will write me again. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• April 21, 2018


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