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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Mayor Rham Emanuel just signed into law, dead people in cemeteries can no longer vote more than three times in the same election, and people that are cremated can no longer vote more than twice. Emanuel said he is taking this action to fulfill a campaign promise that he planned on aggressively cracking down on voter fraud. DNC Chair Tom Perez opposes the new law, stating, “It is discriminatory toward the dearly departed in Chicago and to other cemetery occupants in neighboring suburbs.”

Rahm EmanuelTom Perez

• April 6, 2018


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