Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Shanghai, China – Chinese President Xi Jinping promised to open the country’s economy further and lower import tariffs on products including cars, in a speech that struck a conciliatory tone on the rising trade tensions between China and the United States. The comments sent U.S. stock futures, the dollar and Asian shares higher. However everyone wasn’t happy, specifically Nancy Pelosi. “I am really disappointed in China,” said Pelosi. “They had an opportunity to start a trade war with the U.S., and severely damage our economy before the 2018 midterm elections which would help the democrats. Instead, the Chinese President has ruined everything! So if the democrats don’t do too well in November, they shouldn’t blame me, they should be pointing their fingers at Hong Kong, because they are responsible for this blatant Asian interference into our election, by refusing to cause chaos in America!”

Donald TrumpNancy Pelosi

• April 12, 2018


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