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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

I am a woman and have a problem: I don’t have a mouth filter and haven’t since childhood. I bullied people in the past because of how I was bullied, and I deliberately hurt people to prevent them from hurting me. At work, I did it to the point that a co-worker called me the b-word and threatened to punch me in the mouth if I did it again. I take full responsibility. I deserved it. As an adult, I have become meaner and more bitter and hurtful than I was as a child. Please give me some advice because I’m afraid I’m going to be worse in the future.

Signed, Tina

From, Allentown, Pennsylvania

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Dear Tina,

When people get bullied as a child, that can easily help shape their personality as an adult. If you can’t refrain  from this behavior, immediately update your will, to prevent your relatives from fighting over your possessions after you insult the wrong person. You didn’t mention that you were married, so I’m assuming you’re not. The likely reason you’re single, is because wimpy men won’t marry of concerns they’ll get physically abused, and if you tried to rough up a regular guy, he eventually wouldn’t be able to suppress his desire to rightfully strangle you. In your letter, you didn’t say you had any children. This is a good thing! If you were abused by your parents, and now you have those same traits, it’s a good idea to end your lineage, to correct the stupidity of your parents for not using birth control to prevent your conception. But, there’s hope for you. Even if you get fired from your job due to your offensive vile behavior, you should be able to easily find employment as a chef. Because considering how you described your personality, it’s obvious to me that you spend a large amount of time late at night stirring a “brew” in a large kettle while cackling and casting spells, before taking off on a broom followed by bats. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• 04/14/2018


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