Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Wichita, Kansas – Police in Kansas are now prohibited from engaging in consensual sex with people in their custody, after Gov. Jeff Colyer signed a bill into law. Several cops protested the new law stating in writing, that it “severely reduced our dating prospects, and now we are unfairly forced to try to get women interested in us, that aren’t under arrest”.

• 05/15/2018


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