Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Stockton, California – Mayor Michael Tubbs is about to pay $1,000 a month to residents deemed most likely to shoot somebody, and the program is called “Advance Peace”. “If my new bold plan works, I plan to offer people $750 not to stab someone, $500 not to punch a person in the face while wearing some brass knuckles, and $100 for an individual not to use a car to run over their spouse during a bitter divorce.”

Michael Tubbs

• 05/30/2018


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