Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

I was reflecting the other day about all of the poor grades I got when I was in grammar school…

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THE VIETNAM MEMORIAL

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BREAKING NEWS – Cheney, Washington – Rachel Dolezal, the former NAACP chapter leader who resigned after her parents revealed she’s…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The American Kennel Club has announced that they plan to lobby to give dogs…

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BREAKING NEWS – Cincinnati, Ohio – Pete Rose reportedly earns $1 million a year — and blows a substantial amount…

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ACKNOWLEDGING HEROES

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BREAKING NEWS – Waxahachie, Texas – The lawyer for a Texas woman who accused a state trooper of sexually assaulting…

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BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – A law firm managed by Michael Avenatti, the attorney representing adult-film star Stormy…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – A small sinkhole has begun to form on the north lawn of the White…

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IT’S OVER…

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BREAKING NEWS – New Haven, Connecticut – While delivering the 2018 commencement address at Yale, Hillary Clinton admitted that she…

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BREAKING NEWS – Boston, Massachusetts – A member of the notorious MS-13 street gang known as “Animal,” who admitted to…

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BREAKING NEWS – Syracuse, New York – A 30-year-old man was ordered by a judge to vacate his parents’ New…

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San Jose, which was considered the “holy grail of shipwrecks,” and went down June 8, 1708, has been located. The…

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BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Congresswoman Maxine Waters is now introducing legislation that she says will benefit poor voters…

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BREAKING NEWS – Santa Ana, California – California might become the first state in the U.S. to offer health care…

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BREAKING NEWS – Tampa Bay, Florida – A Florida man was arrested after police said he climbed a piece of…

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THE LAS VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS

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BREAKING NEWS – Charlotte, North Carolina – A city councilwoman is receiving backlash after she compared police officers to terrorists…

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BREAKING NEWS – Vatican City, Rome – Pope Francis I has announced that he would elevate 14 Roman Catholic prelates…

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