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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Panama City, Florida – A standoff in a Florida grocery store between Justin Tyler Stanford, 25, who was wielding a hammer and local law enforcement ended in an arrest and multiple charges after one quick-thinking deputy dinged the suspect in the back with first one and then a second can of Bush’s extra brown sugar baked beans. Congresswoman Maxine Waters called the tactic racist. “Why did the deputy use brown baked beans, instead of a color that didn’t reflect poorly on black people? His action suggests to me, that he thinks African Americans like getting tossed around. He could’ve gotten a grocery cart and shopped for a variety of non-ethnic vegetables, and then threw those. And I’ll bet that racist cop voted for Donald Trump! Impeach 45!”

Donald TrumpMaxine Waters

• 06/06/2018


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