Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Mason, Ohio – Melissa Bergman, 30, was a stay-at-home mom living in a $475,000 house when she committed a series of thefts in July 2017 out of boredom, that will require her to serve jail time, news station WLWT reported. “I felt like my life was going nowhere,” Bergman told the news station. “I felt like I had nothing to look forward to in life.” It all began when she found a delivery mistakenly mailed to her home. She returned the package to the rightful recipient at their house, but noticed there were several other deliveries seemingly disregarded on the doorstep. “I’m like, ‘Oh he doesn’t want these,’ so I took one, and I put it in my car,” Bergman said. Immediately, Bergman felt a certain thrill opening the stolen packages, according to WLWT. After her conviction she told the judge, “I now understand the mindset of criminals. And I bet Jack the Ripper was probably a nice guy, with just too much time on his hands.”

Jack the Ripper

• 07/03/2018


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or