Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – San Francisco, California – “A major medical association is pulling its annual convention out of the city — saying its members no longer feel safe,” reports the San Francisco Chronicle. It’s a loss of approximately $40 million for the city and a warning to other cities with similar policies, like New York: You could be next. Beautiful, hilly San Francisco has become known as the city where 20 pounds of poop was dumped on a sidewalk last week in a clear bag and remained there for hours. As “The Oakland Post” noted, “human waste-related complaints in San Francisco have skyrocketed 400 percent from 2008 to 2018,” and “In 2017 alone, more than 21,000 reports were received.” Mayor Mark Farrell is blaming conservatives and republicans for giving this issue national attention. “This is a local matter, and it’s no one else’s business outside of this city. And I don’t appreciate nosy conservatives and republicans using us to promote their bigoted ‘anti-filth’ campaign.”

• 07/10/2018


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