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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Chicago activists are demanding that Mayor Rahm Emanuel resign as they prepare for a major anti-violence protest against the city’s spiraling crime crisis. NBC Chicago reported that the protesters said they are looking to “redistribute the pain and agony of no economic development on the South and West Sides to the North side.” The mayor countered their assessment by stating, “Businesses are booming on the west and southside of Chicago, so what if it’s mostly gun shops, liquor stores, and funeral homes. The only option I have in reducing crime, is to let the feds come in and fix it. But I’d rather let the citizens to continue to drop like flies, before I’ll allow President Trump to come in to boost the economy and save a few worthless lives!”

Donald TrumpRahm Emanuel

• August 3, 2018


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