Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Moscow, Russia – The hole that caused a leak at the International Space Station last week came not from a meteorite as initially thought, Russia’s space agency confirmed, but from someone’s hand — possibly while in space. The hole came from inside a Russian spacecraft docked to the station as the result of a “technological error,” Dmitry Rogozin of Russia’s Roscosmos told a state news agency. “It was done by a human hand,” Rogozin said Monday, according to TASS. “There are traces of a drill sliding along the surface.” “We are considering all the theories,” the space official told TASS. Among those theories: A homesick or “mentally unstable” member of the space station’s crew could have deliberately drilled the hole. According to an unnamed source, Russia’s space agency is currently investigating an astronaut that while in space, repeatedly called Uber requesting a ride back to earth.

Uber

• 09/07/2018


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