Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Boston, Massachusetts – Suffolk DA candidate Rachael Rollins’ campaign website calls for a different approach to prosecuting lesser crimes, especially shoplifting. She said, “Instead of prosecuting, these cases should be (1) outright dismissed prior to arraignment or (2) where appropriate, diverted and treated as a civil infraction for which community service is satisfactory.” She is also calling on citizens to march with her on this particular issue. “I want people to join me on the streets in a mass protest,” she said in a radio interview. “I want everyone to be carrying signs that agrees with my position. And if you don’t have any cardboard and markers to create the signs displaying how we should deal with shoplifters, go to an Office Depot and steal them.”

• 09/10/2018


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or