Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Bixby, Oklahoma – When Bonnie Moriarty heard her cat hiss in the middle of the night, she assumed her dog picked a fight with the feline. Moments later, the cat ran inside her bedroom — with a large animal trailing behind it. At first, Moriarty assumed her dog was chasing the cat. But as she took a closer look, she realized it wasn’t her pup after all: it was a coyote. The Oklahoma mom called 911 for backup and three officers arrived on the scene shortly after. The Bixby cops, equipped with a catcher pole, surrounded the animal and placed the loop around its neck. They managed to pull the creature out of the bedroom and released it safely in a wooded area nearby. The coyote then immediately fired up a rocket powered skateboard that appeared to be made by ACME, and began chasing a bird which ran passed it so fast, that the wind nearly caused some of the trees to be blown over.

• 09/13/2018


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