Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

My only son and his wife had their first baby recently. My daughter-in-law treats me terribly. She’s hypercritical of what I do or say. I am usually so blindsided I don’t have much of a reply. When I attempted to help out with the laundry, cleaning, etc., I was met with more criticism and advice on how to perform those tasks. She also says I don’t know how to properly hold an infant. I have raised five grown children! How can I change this situation?

Signed, Gladys
From Farmington, Connecticut

*                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *

Dear Gladys,

It is unfortunate that your daughter-in-law treats you so horribly. The only thing I can suggest is to fight fire with fire, and make sure she is thoroughly roasted. Ok, consider some of these. Tell her that you want to help her out around the house, because you heard that people with low I.Q.s often get migraines from trying to perform simple tasks. Or you can tell her that you are glad that your son is not shallow, because he had an opportunity to marry women that were really pretty, and he obviously refused to. And then you can follow that up by saying the reason why you want to help out with the chores, is so she’ll have more time to look less homely when your son comes home from work. But on the other hand, you can take the high road acknowledging her criticism was correct, admitting that you don’t know how to hold a baby because you dropped your son on his head several times as an infant, which resulted in a brain injury causing him to make some bad choices in his life. And you are confident that the one most easily corrected will happen as soon as he contacts a divorce attorney. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• November 4, 2018


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or