Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Former CBS CEO Les Moonves, who resigned in September following a slew of sexual misconduct allegations made against him, “destroyed evidence” related to the case, according to a report released Tuesday night. Moonves, 69, was trying to save his reputation at the network, and his multi-million-dollar severance package, when he “misled investigators” working on behalf of the company, The New York Times reported, citing a 59-page report drafted for the CBS board. Moonves immediately responded to the report. “The report has it all wrong,” he began. “I wasn’t destroying the so-called evidence in attempt to save my severance package. I destroyed it because I didn’t want it made public, the ‘smooth’ strategy I used in dealing with the ladies. If that gets out, women won’t fall for my manipulative tactics and one-liners, other than my wife. This clearly proves that my actions were motivated by sex, not money!” he said angrily. “Thus, I deserve an apology from the investigators for their inaccurate conclusion!”

CBSLes Moonves

• December 6, 2018


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or