Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is now sponsoring a bill, in hopes to get a law passed which will mandate auto insurance companies to immediately cover carjackers and the vehicle they are stealing. “The stats are clear,” she explained. “Too many car thieves that don’t have a health plan are getting injured during high speed chases. They obviously don’t have time to get an adequate policy to cover themselves or the car that they don’t own, as they try to elude law enforcement while driving 90 mph through stoplights. I think we should have some congressional hearings to determine if State Farm is systematically discriminating against drivers that appear to be involved in grand theft auto.”

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

• January 31, 2019


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or