Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

Life through Blake’s eyes…

My nephew, who has countless run-ins with the law, has proven that he is one of the dumbest criminals of all time. Two months ago, he attempted to rob a bank. As he held the teller at gunpoint, he demanded $10,000 in large bills. The teller apparently was a very good judge of character, suspected how stupid he really is, and went to the other tellers to get their large “bills”, which included their personal power bills, cable bills, cell phone bills, mortgages, etc. My nephew then grabbed the paperwork and quickly ran out of the bank. Now, he’s working two jobs just to keep up payments. Idiot.

Life through Blake's eyes

• January 19, 2019


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