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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

My wife and I are getting ready to retire. We are both employed and will have continued access to health insurance through our employers in retirement. My insurance covers her even if I predecease her, unless she remarries. My wife now says she wants to carry her own health insurance because she feels she might want to remarry sometime after my death. Her new interest about remarrying bothers me, and I feel somewhat guilty about that. What has me depressed is the question of who she would want to be buried beside — her new husband or me. These are thoughts and feelings I can neither shake off nor rationalize. Your thoughts?

Signed, Martin
From Tulsa, Oklahoma

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Dear Martin,

I understand your concerns regarding your wife’s health insurance. But I am more concerned about your health/safety because it sounds like your spouse is planning your demise. So here is my advice. Find out if she has secretly taken out some life insurance polices on you. If she has, be very leery of any “special dinners” that she prepares and have her taste the food first in your presence… on camera. It’s also possible that she already has a new man in her life, and she is getting increasingly irritated knowing that your heart is still beating. How about telling her that you plan to start embracing Hinduism because they believe in reincarnation, and if she remarries after you die, when you come back, you’ll move next to her and her new husband, and become the neighbor from hell. And finally, one of your concerns was who will she be buried next to, you or her new husband. My answer is neither, because after she gets convicted and eventually executed for your murder, she’ll probably be buried in a prison cemetery next to other “terminated” inmates. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• February 9, 2019


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