Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is taking a victory lap after delivering the goods in her fight against Amazon. So, after Jeff Bezos’ tech giant announced it was pulling the plug on its proposed Long Island City location, the Bronx native had something to celebrate. Ocasio-Cortez Amazon’s plan – which had promised to generate 25,000 jobs and over $27.5 billion in tax revenue in 25 years – and called on “everyday people” to “effectively organize against creeping overreach of one of the world’s biggest corporations.” She further explained later saying, “All Bezos wants to do is create jobs, jobs, and more jobs. As a socialist, especially in my hometown, I will never allow rampant opportunities for employment. Trying to manipulate people into abandoning their government assistance and encouraging them to become self-sufficient, is something I will never tolerate. And I will continue my fight against corporations that create careers, every time they rear their ugly heads!”

Alexandria Ocasio-CortezAmazonJeff Bezos

• February 15, 2019


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or