Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett files two lawsuits for $100 million dollars each, against his alleged accomplices and against the FBI. His first lawsuit is against brothers Ola Osundairo and Abel Osundairo for breach of contract. “They were sworn to secrecy, yet they told the cops everything about the hoax,” he said in a brief interview at WGN News. “I have a personal check that they signed and deposited in their account, which consummated the agreement. Any contract lawyer will tell you that this is compelling evidence. I also have an issue with them not bringing my change back from the $100 that I gave them to purchase, the rope, the bleach, and the masks. There is no way that totaled more than 30 bucks. And in regards to the FBI, I am suing them for using a homophobic slur in regards to me. They referred to me as a male fraud. Because I’m gay man I’m a fraudulent male? Really? They are not going to get away with using that vulgar bigoted term toward me! After they get served the court papers, they will know that they are not dealing with someone that’s stupid!”

FBIJussie Smollett

• February 22, 2019


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or