Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Chicago, Illinois – Electric car owners in Illinois could take a large hit to their bank accounts after lawmakers proposed an extreme hike in registration fees for electronic vehicles in the state. The proposal would raise the annual registration fee to $1,000, more than 57 times the current amount of $17.50. The bill was introduced by Chicago state Sen. Martin Sandoval, a Democrat who says the registration fee hike is imperative to help fund the cost of the city towing away abandoned electric cars on the streets, that were shot up and destroyed in drive-by shootings. “Once the bullets hit the batteries, the vehicle is pretty much totaled,” explained Sandoval. “Plus the tow truck drivers are also charging the state an additional fee to go to the local morgue to drop off the bodies of the unfortunate targets. Currently, they are not charging us an additional fee for notifying the next of kin, as long as that in the blood stained wallets of the deceased, there is a reasonable amount of cash and/or credit cards.”

• May 13, 2019


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