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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

What does one do in the case of lending out DVDs and never seeing them again? This happened to me at the start of the year. The perpetrators are members of the church I attend. One is the assistant pastor. When I have asked about my DVDs, the borrowers have been very vague. I think those who attend one’s church should be trustworthy. What do you think I should do besides refuse to lend anything?

Signed, Alex

From Wheaton, Illinois

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Dear Alex,

I think it is really sad, when churchgoers don’t return borrowed items in a timely fashion. So, what I think you should do, is turn the tables on those insensitive idiots, knowing full well that even if they don’t like it, they still have to forgive you. Ok, here are some of my suggestions. Go over to their house, and when they leave you alone for a couple of minutes, unhook and take their dvd player and go home. Later call them and tell them that you were looking for your dvd, and the next time you see them, you both can return each other’s property. If that bothers them, then pawn it. Or try this. Borrow $20 from them and then inform them from Walmart, that they can keep the dvd you lent them, you’re buying a new one, and now you’re even. If you want to give them a real good taste of their own medicine, do the exact same thing to them, but in your case, borrow their car. However if you are not a very confrontational person, but you want them to know how you feel, do this last idea on a Sunday. Try to slip into your church bulletin a list naming all of the “thieves”, along with the commandment “thou shalt not steal”, and indirectly single out the pastor by quoting every scripture you can find regarding phony teachers. If he’s like a lot of egotistical arrogant preachers, the next time you see him he’ll hand you your dvd, along with giving you a biblical reference on where he thinks you can “go”. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• July 6, 2019


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