Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Lucknow, India – An Indian man who had been declared dead woke up just before he was set to be buried during a funeral ceremony, according to reports. Mourners at Mohammad Furqan, 20, was declared dead by Indian medical professionals, but his surprise awakening at the funeral in the Northern Indian city shocked mourners. Unfortunately for Furqan, he was still buried… alive. He is a Hindu like all of his friends and family, that believes cows are sacred. Witnesses stated that the coffin lid was slammed down and tossed into the ground, because when Furqan woke up, his first words were, “I’m hungry! Where can I get a Big Mac?”

• July 5, 2019


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