Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Detroit, Michigan – According to the Detroit Free Press, all 20 candidates signed a petition stating that Detroit is “way too raggedy for the debate to be held”. Their complaints center around the Fox Theater not having any functional plumbing, and using old generators that constantly malfunction, to supply the facility with electricity. They also objected to all 20 candidates being told to bring a fly swatter.

• July 29, 2019


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