Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – London, England – The British confectionery giant Cadbury has been facing some backlash on social media for a new candy bar that it, which features four types of chocolate — dark, blended, milk and white — to promote diversity. Some people were praising the idea on social media, but Al Sharpton was outraged. “How dare they do something this racially insensitive,” he began. “They have Caucasians on top and the African-Americans on the bottom. What a bunch of bigots!” When Cadbury contacted Sharpton and told him if he feels that strongly, simply reverse the candy bar. This suggestion got Sharpton even angrier. “This idea is much worse than the first one!” he responded in a letter to the British company. “If I reversed it, it would appear that dark skin blacks are more important than light skin blacks! We just can’t win!”

Al Sharpton

• August 30, 2019


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or