BREAKING NEWS – River Falls, Wisconsin – Employees at the Three Square Market actually celebrated by wearing “I Got Chipped” t-shirts after they were implanted with microchips by their bosses. The microchips are the size of a grain of rice, and they were embedded into the hands of employees for Three Square Market, a vending company that makes kiosks to dispense food and beverages. It was done supposedly for the purposes of convenience, and employees’ hands can now be read to verify their identity. The owner of the company stated that this was a simple business decision and it has nothing to do with the mark of beast that is spoken about in the Book of Revelation in the bible. But he refused to comment on why he had the prices of everything in his store changed to $6.66.