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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Dana Point, California – Benny Hinn is one of the more controversial names in modern televangelism, especially with his association with what has become known as the prosperity gospel. It’s also been widely criticized, and many prosperity preachers have been accused of essentially preying on the desperation of the poor to enrich themselves. “I have given it a lot of thought, and prayed about it a lot, asking God for direction,” Hinn began. “And finally my prayers have been answered and the divine instructions are clear. Thus, effective immediately, I want people to stop donating cash to this ministry, through checks, debit cards, and credit cards. I am convinced that God wants my dedicated followers to start giving to this ministry by way of bitcoins. In the end times, people won’t be able to buy or sell without the anti-Christ knowing about it, but bitcoins are extremely different to track, that’s why when John wrote the book of Revelation, he refused to bring the subject because it confused him. The streets of heaven are gold and bitcoins are gold. So from now on, anyone who donates to me $5000 or more in bitcoins, I will recommend to our Heavenly Father to name one of the streets after them, or for $10,000.00, a boulevard.”

• September 5, 2019


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