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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Stockholm, Sweden – A Swedish scientist speaking at Stockholm summit offered an unusual possible tactic in combating global climate change: eating human flesh. Stockholm School of Economics professor and researcher Magnus Soderlund reportedly said he believes eating human meat, derived from dead bodies, might be able to help save the human race if only a world society were to “awaken the idea.” Soderlund’s argument for human cannibalism was front and center during a panel talk called “Can you Imagine Eating Human Flesh?” at the Gastro Summit. “Dead bodies can be a major source of food.” Soderlund explained. “And based on that, there is plenty of Mexican food near Central America. Deceased citizens in Paris can be easily sliced up to create French fries, and with the proper fruity flavoring, portions of dead Eskimos can be made into Popsicles.”

• September 9, 2019


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