Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – Earlier this year, left-wing filmmaker Michael Moore begged Michelle Obama to run for president in 2020; apparently, he is not alone. Washington insiders report that Democratic Party officials are also urging the former first lady to enter the race. They see Joe Biden’s campaign in free-fall, with polling and donations dropping, and they are panicked that Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren grows more inevitable by the day. Warren, they think, is way too liberal to win a national election. Apparently, the possibility of Michelle Obama running for president, has ignited a fir under Hillary Clinton. “If she runs, then I’ll run,” Hillary began. “Her husband stole the opportunity from me in 2008, Trump stole it from me in 2016, and I will not allow a black woman or a lying Cherokee take what I am entitled to! I have not made a decision what I am going to do yet. So for now, I’ll wait until after the next debate when Brainless Biden’s numbers continue falling to the level of the I.Q.s of the women that sneak into bed with Bill, while I’m next to him pretending to be sleep.”

Donald TrumpElizabeth WarrenHillary ClintonJoe BidenMichael MooreMichelle Obama

• October 7, 2019


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or