Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – New York City, New York – With their crisp white shirts, pressed trousers, and proper collar brass, 5-year-old twins Aaron and Evan Rolon know exactly which of their heroes to dress as: NYPD lieutenants. The “Twin Squad,” as these little officers are called, have traveled to police precincts around the country showing law enforcement their appreciation while building a following on their social media accounts. Unfortunately, both boys were recently arrested and charged with corruption, after being accused of shaking down students at pre-schools to get their snacks, and for randomly stopping kids on the streets, demanding that they give them their parent’s wallets or they would have their tricycles impounded.

• November 27, 2019


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