Unconfirmed Breaking News
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PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Washington, D.C. – The U.S. Department of Labor has filed a compliant against Santa Claus and his workshop, alleging that the elves are employed at a facility that is “comparable to a sweatshop”. An attorney for Santa Claus denies the accusation at a press conference and stated, “The Labor Department has gotten its fact wrong. It’s not a ‘sweat’ shop because Santa Claus rarely has the heat on in the building, thus the temperature never gets above 15 degrees in the work environment. I can prove this by showing that every holiday season, at least 50% of the elves die on the clock from either exhaustion or hypothermia.”

Department of LaborSanta Clauswinter

• December 5, 2019


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