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Blake’s Advice Column

Dear Blake,

My siblings and I have always enjoyed spending quality time together, and every eight to 10 weeks or so we get together for “Siblings Day.” There’s no set schedule or particular date; one of us will call the others and say, “I need some siblings time.” (There are five of us, all over 60.) Sometimes we meet at one of our homes and play board games or cards, or dance in the living room and enjoy the laughter that comes with it. It’s a time when we just enjoy being family.

Our brother’s lady friend, a very nice person, has arrived, uninvited, the last three times we have gotten together. Talk about a party-pooper. We have explained, as graciously as we know how, that these times are very important to us. Our brother has asked her to please allow us this time for family, but she just laughs and says it’s silly for grown people to be so needy of each other. We all love each other and are aware that life is truly short and that we are very lucky to still have this close bond when so many families do not. Can you suggest what we can do to make her understand what this time together means to us and that she is the ultimate uninvited guest?

Signed, Connie
From New York City, New York

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Dear Connie,

Unfortunately, some people can’t pick up the simple fact that they are not wanted. And because she’s not aware that she’s a fifth wheel, then she should be run over… twice. Here are some of my suggestions. Tell her it’s a members only club, and he she can join if she pays the monthly dues of $4500.00, plus she has to bring all the food to each gathering for the first year. Or, hire a vicious looking nightclub bouncer to stand in front of the door of the home your family is meeting. And when he sees her approaching, he should let her see him pull out a picture of her for a positive I.D., and then put on some brass knuckles. Or, maybe tell her that her family would never do anything like this because none of them can stand her, and then act like you accidentally repeated something that was told to you by her siblings in confidence. But the most efficient way to deal with this party-crasher, is to change locations every week and put a tracker on her car, so you and your family can quickly go to another location when she’s nearby. But if she is still able to find you guys, put a “special tracker” on her car… that can be detonated from your cell phone. I hope this helps.

Blake

Blake's Advice Column

• January 25, 2020


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