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BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Sonora, California – Police investigating a burglary at a tobacco shop in Northern California last month had a key piece of evidence that helped them identify a suspect: video of the man falling through the ceiling. The Sonora Police Department stated the incident happened on Dec. 22, when officers received a call for a burglary alarm sounding at a business just after 6 a.m. Officers arriving at the scene found no signs of forced entry from the exterior of the building but eventually discovered a “man-sized hole” in the ceiling. But, the suspect — later identified as 40-year-old Storm Corral — had made it only to the back room of the business before he tripped an alarm. He then tried to run back up through the hole into the space upstairs, but surveillance footage caught him falling from the ceiling into the storage room during his rushed escape. Sonora Police are charging him with several crimes. The police chief also said they will seek reimbursement from Corral for being so ugly that he cracked three mirrors at the station, the medical cost of four female cops that fainted and bumped their heads on the floor from fright when they saw him while he was being processed, and the camera used to take his mugshot that exploded because it was not designed digitally create an image of his level of physical hideousness.

• January 13, 2020


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