Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Los Angeles, California – Lori Loughlin, husband Mossimo Giannulli and several other parents still battling charges in the college admissions scandal are being accused of withholding discovery evidence despite requests from the government. Federal prosecutors filed a joint interim report on Jan. 10 calling on all of the parents to finally turn over their discovery evidence ahead of an upcoming conference hearing in Boston. “They want us to give some documents that confirms everything that they have accused of is true,” Loughlin angrily said at a press conference. “There is no way will give it to them knowing it will destroy our defense and send me to prison! This is harassment! And because they are mandating for us to be in court at a specific time on a specific date, I think that is a form of bullying. Who are they to tell me when and where I have to show up, without asking me if it will fit into my schedule? But most of all, where is their mercy? What I did to get my daughters in college, was good parenting. Both of them are beautiful, but they are also dumb and extremely stupid. I did what I had to do, which was try to nullify their idiocy, even if it deprived poor students who deserved to be at USC that squandered much of their lives by incessantly studying to get high test scores!”

Lori Loughlin

• January 16, 2020


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or