Blake’s Advice Column
My daughter, “Heidi,” is 39. She is successful, owns her own business and lives with her boyfriend of five years. I’ll call him Rick. They have two beautiful boys, 3 and 18 months. She has decided to tie the knot with Rick with a nice, somewhat big wedding.
As Heidi has gotten older, she has been changing into a different person. She has become self-centered and controlling, and she puts Rick down cruelly at times. I think he’s a good guy, but maybe just not for her. I really don’t know because I stay out of their lives.
What’s making me uncomfortable is, my daughter has told only me that she’s doing all this wedding stuff without getting an actual marriage license. I don’t even know if Rick is aware. I looked this up and saw that some people are now having what’s called “commitment ceremonies.” When I tried to talk to her about it, she became defensive, cut me off, and then sent me a long, nasty email. So now I just step back.
When I think of the guests (100 to 150), I feel she should be honest and call it what it is. We are presently not communicating because I won’t respond to that kind of email. I won’t argue with her. But I don’t know where to go at this point. I’m worried about her state of mind. She is supposedly seeing a therapist, and a few weeks back I suggested she and Rick get marriage counseling. I would love to hear your thoughts.
From Winchester, Illinois
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It is obvious that your daughter is committing fraud by taking advantage of the generosity of their guests. Thus you should feel compelled to put that narcissistic sociopath daughter of yours in her place at any means necessary. Here are some ideas. Let her young kids drive your car up and down you block, and when she finds out tell her you assumed she’d be ok with it, because you thought she didn’t care about licenses. Or, tell the guests that your daughter is conning them, and hopefully some of them will get angry enough to slap her around. And if she gets injured, send her to a doctor that had his license revoked. Or maybe, tell the guests during the ceremony, that the meals were prepared by a company that had their license yanked, due to several people dying from food poisoning. What your daughter is doing, is a crime, so this is my final suggestion. Since she is scamming everyone, call the police and have her arrested. And because she is entitled to due process, find her a defense attorney… that was recently disbarred. I hope this helps.