Blake’s Advice Column
I’m in my mid-30s and about a year ago I went from limited contact to no contact with two siblings and my mother. No single incident caused this, nor was there any history of childhood abuse, etc. I just find I am much happier without their presence in my life. I am married, content, take joy in my job and am otherwise fulfilled. I do not miss their general negativity, peevish behavior or critical comments. My question is this: Do I owe them an explanation or a place in my life? I am generally an unsentimental person. I try to be fair. After years of not enjoying our contact, is it OK to finally end it once and for all?
From Baton Rouge, Louisiana
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I think it’s inappropriate to just cut your family off without giving them a reason, leaving them guessing. So I would urge you to deep into your past, and come up with some reason you’re kicking them to the curb, even if you have to exaggerate it bigtime. Here are some ideas that I think you should consider. Did your siblings always let you play with their toys? If they didn’t, accuse them of conspiring against you, along the same level as Caesar who was betrayed and later butchered by his so-called friends. If your mother didn’t give you at least as much attention as your siblings, accuse her of causing you to constantly having fantasies about running away from home due to her past neglect, after burning down the house in the middle of the night while she slept. You should also hurl bogus claims at your dad, alleging that he didn’t do enough father and son activities with you, and you believe it is because you believe he has always been confused about his sexuality, and you’re surprise that he hasn’t yet gone through the process of a gender reassignment. But if you want to make it look like the permanent communication disruption is their idea, start publicly spreading some malicious lies about them. When they become enraged and confront you yelling and using profanity, simply walk away from them forever… mainly because their behavior proves that they have anger management issues, and there’s your legit reason for permanently avoiding those losers. I hope this helps.