Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – San Francisco, California – Dr. Grant Colfax who is currently the Director of Public Health, has issued a stern warning to drug users in the City by the Bay.

“Due to the health risk, I am urging all drug users to refrain from sharing needles with perfect strangers,” he began. “You have know idea what their medical history is or the quality of drug that you may be sharing. But if you must share needles, before the injection have the person wipe of their arms thoroughly and you do the same, with any reasonably clean rag in the area. And you should also consider doing the same thing with drugs users that you do know and are friends with, just in case you aren’t aware of them lowering their hygiene standards.”

• February 3, 2020


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or