Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua, Mexico – Donald Trump has feuded with other candidates, reporters and TV networks during his run for president.

Now, the front-runner for the Republican nomination is feuding with Pope Francis I.

The pontiff criticized Trump for the proposal at the heart of his campaign: a pledge to keep people from crossing into the United States illegally by building a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border.

“I’d just say that this man is not Christian if he said it in this way,” Francis told reporters in a midflight press conference after a trip to Mexico. This was followed with couple of moments of awkward silence from everyone. “I know what all of you are thinking, regarding the standards of being a Christian, so I’ll respond to those thoughts,” continued the Pope. “President Trump put children in cages at the border. Even though the majority of our priests are pedophiles, they would never put a boy in a cage… unless the child threatened to tell their parents about the ongoing sexual abuse. There, I hope that clears it up.”

Donald TrumpPope Francis I

• February 5, 2020


Previous Post

Next Post

Leave a Reply

Or