Unconfirmed Breaking News
A (mis)trusted news source for over One 25th of a century

PURE SATIRE!!! UPDATED DAILY AT 7 AM PST (OR WHEN WE ARE GOOD AND READY) THREE BREAKING NEWS STORIES EVERY WEEKDAY, PLUS A PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE COLUMN ON WEEKENDS ~ TO REMAIN UPDATED ON WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND THE WORLD, RELY ON UNCONFIRMED BREAKING NEWS, BECAUSE WHEN THE NEWS BREAKS… WE'LL FIX IT!!!

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS – Beijing, China – The president of China Xi Jinping, is trying to give a positive spin on the coronavirus beginning in his country and spreading worldwide. “There is a silver lining in the pandemic,” he began. “According to the World Health Organization, because of the coronavirus, there has been a 90% reduction in STDs by people who casually hook up with someone after briefly meeting them on dating websites.”

• March 17, 2020


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